Resume Bloopers and Blunders

Here are some of the funnier errors I have encountered over the years in either a resume, cover letter or selection criteria. Whilst some of them may seem ridiculous, these are real life errors seen in clients existing resumes or selection criteria that I have encountered over the last ten years.

"Tack record of improving sales" (Should be track record)

"Aliens First Aid" (Should be Allen’s First Aid where the client completed their training

Photograph on the front of the resume of the applicant wearing her camisole/lingerie (Yes, really, truly!)

"The staff here took me into the arms of their brother hood and taught me to work like a hard tail" Yes, this one gave us a good laugh. Needless to say this client needed some help with his grammar and English language skills.

"Relocation and travel: Yes, willing to travel interstate and overseas. Includes dog and wife." (Why was the dog listed first?!)

Additional Resume and cover letter bloopers


These are taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with my extensive experience.

2. I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreadsheet progroms.

3. Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.

4. Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.

5. Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions.

6. Its best for employers that I not work with people.

7. Lets meet, so you can ooh and aah over my experience.

8. You will want me to be Head Honcho in no time.

9. Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.

10. I was working for my mom until she decided to move.

11. Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.

12. Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No Commitments.

13. I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse.

14. I am loyal to my employer at all costs... Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voice mail.

15. I have become completely paranoid, trusting completely no one and absolutely nothing.

16. My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meterology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage.

17. I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant.

18. As indicted, I have over five years of analysing investments.

19. Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen litres so far.

20. Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a large chain store.

21. Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as job-hopping. I have never quit a job.

22. Marital status: often. Children: various.

23. Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. Could not work under those conditions.

24. The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers.

25. Finished eighth in my class of ten.

26. References: None. I've left a path of destruction behind me.